Parenting

Today my colleague shared to us about how upset a fellow parent is over the fact that her daughter scored 89/100 for her math paper while she is unhappy that her son only scored 92/100 while the highest is 98/100. Both of their children are in Primary 2.That parent was so angry that she fell sick && my colleague didn't sleep the entire of last night after checking her son's exam papers too. In my mind, I am only thinking about how that parent will punish her daughter. Did she scold her or beat her?
End up, she did. She actually SLAP her. SLAP.

Personally, I thought that parents today don't hit their children anymore. My colleague was telling me how the cane might be going to extinct anytime soon. From what I have heard and seen so far, I really thought parents don't hit their child anymore. Indeed, parents today are more 'kiasu' and are more anxious about their child's results but majority of them have moved away from holding the cane to educate their children.
Slap is a serious matter.  How can you slap a child? You might actually cause harm to her hearing or brain if you accidentally lose control and use too much force. It's also very humiliating for the kid. We are talking about a P2 child here.

I have been hit by cane, feather duster and even belt(When my dad fell ill, his temper was really bad) but I have never been slapped. Whether it's more painful to be slap or beaten, it doesn't matter. Slapping will really hurt the child's ego. It's really bad. It will really leave a negative psychological impact on her.
I don't know if hitting a child really allows the child to learn. The pain was supposed to deter the child from committing the same mistake as he will most likely remember how much pain he'll have to suffer if he commit the same mistake again. I would like to think that maybe it'll help in certain scenarios. However, it should only be used when it's absolutely necessary. Parents shouldn't hit their child for every tiny mistake he commits.
My cousin will be one big example. His mum hit him really hard since he is young whenever he did something wrong(he always does) and he got used to it from P4. So, whenever you hit him from then, he'll either laugh or just don't care about you. He no longer repents on his mistake.

It's after I started working at this tuition centre that I realise the importance of proper parenting from the point when their children can finally speak or start walking. For example, one of the colleagues starts reading to and with her son since he is 2-3 years old and he grows to love reading but she spent less time with her daughter and she is the exact opposite to him. Similar stories from the lovely mummies in the office. I never knew that this really happens; a child actually developed and grow according to your teaching methods. Parents really have to start to plan early when they know they are going to have a child.

Parents today are more educated. They understand the importance of qualifications in a society like Singapore's. They place all their hopes on their children and put in a lot of effort to groom them. It's natural that they have high expectations for them. However, different child has different learning abilities. Some children just take a longer time to understand certain concepts and their results may not correspond with the amount of effort you put in to help them prepare for their exams. As a parent, you have to be more patient and to understand them. Maybe I am not a parent yet and I don't know how I will react when my girl comes home with a 89/100 math exam paper but I still feel that it's wrong of her to slap her daughter and scold her nasty things. It's too much for a primary 2 girl to take.
Just my opinion.

I am going to get The Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, by Amy Chua.  It's about how Amy Chua educate her daughters since young and she's a really scary mummy.


From http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2011/jan/15/amy-chua-tiger-mother-interview:
"Amy Chua was in a restaurant, celebrating her birthday with her husband and daughters, Sophia, seven, and Lulu, four. "Lulu handed me her 'surprise', which turned out to be a card," writes Chua in her explosive new memoir, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother. "More accurately, it was a piece of paper folded crookedly in half, with a big happy face on the front. Inside, 'Happy Birthday, Mummy! Love, Lulu' was scrawled in crayon above another happy face. I gave the card back to Lulu. 'I don't want this,' I said. 'I want a better one – one that you've put some thought and effort into. I have a special box, where I keep all my cards from you and Sophia, and this one can't go in there.' I grabbed the card again and flipped it over. I pulled out a pen and scrawled 'Happy Birthday Lulu Whoopee!' I added a big sour face. … 'I reject this.'"

What kind of a mother throws her four-year-old daughter's homemade birthday cards back at them? A "Chinese" one, that's who, says Chua..."