I never felt this disappointed and dumb while taking a test before.
I really dont understand MA. I think my quiz score will be worst than that for any of my stat151 tests/assignments or whatever.
I thought that was bad enough.
Nevermind, I just gonna work harder for MA and hopefully my grades will eventually end up to be similar to that i score for STAT151 in the end last term(:
Trying hard to be postitive here you knw.
YESTERDAY
Mug MA and contd to be depressed over dont-knw-what.
The weather was making me ): I guess.
I 'took leave' from glassroom; didnt work cos i dont wanna walk so much to school:/
MAMAMAMAMA.
I totally procrastinated from 4pm-7pm.
I was just ranting to Huihui on MSN.
&& she is asking me not to be too positive about some stuff.
I just feel super arghhhhh ):):): confused about some stuff maybe.
I enjoy reading her blog really.
She is always so straightforward and trueful in her words.
She will just blog about whatever she had in mind.
PEOPLE LETS TRY TO BE POSITIVE(:
MUGMAMAMAMAMA till late~
TODAY
Overestimated my speed.
I thought I can get to school as early as usual cos my feet isnt swelling that much today but gahhh... no uh.
Just reached the sr on the dot.
I totally have no idea on what the questions are asking.
So well, don't talk about it anymore.
I should really reflect on my actions.
Did I study hard enough?
I have no idea what I was doing like SERIOUSLY.
Rushed to SAM for CT lessons.
Most of the groups just left after a while.
Ours did walk around before going back to SIS to discuss about what we gonna do.
My group was not bad.
I think everyone was quite prepared and we got our presentation done pretty fast.
A group of art-y people(excluding me).
Oh, and kris recognised me from glassroom-.-
Gahhh.
Anw, the discussion made me wanna dance again.
Met Cindy at the museum.
She's in GBE's CT class.
Oh, && She made it into emix.
I didn't go for the trial cos the freestyling session totally scares me off. LOL.
Maybe I should just try the next round?;)
Or go into ballroom or whatever.
I feel like dancing again even though I totally suck at it.
I should totally make myself useful and join some school activities.
Hello friends! Ask me to join you all canssssssss?(:
I kept weighing myself these few days cos my weight has officially hit the 50KG mark.
I am like 51kg now?
This was my original weight before I got all so serious into losing weight.
Ok. I was 52kg then and everyone was commenting that I was gaining weight and I look 'meaty' wearing my super light grey skinny jeans.
I began to feel that I was super fat.
I started off with dapping all my food with kitchen towels before consuming them && jogging a least once a week.
Then I tried to imagine the smelly oily smell whenever I see fried food and soon I feel like puking whenever I see them and I stop eating fried food.
I began stuffing myself with fruits.
I began to stop eating whatever that's on the dining table and ate lettuce with tiny bits of rice/boil some other vege.
I bring my own low fat cheese/no sugar blueberry jam sandwich to school.
&& everything just continue.
When I started off with not eating fried food and jog, i managed to lose some weight and hit 48kg.
That's my ideal weight.
However, I got obsessed with weight control.
I don't want to gain all those weight back.
Once you see the numbers falling, you just don't wanna see them creeping back up again.
I lost weight drastically and I kept feeling cold all the time even though everyone else feels warm, my hair kept falling, my skin became super dry and the list just goes on.
It got kinda bad and I kept going to the GP.
Had hormonal pills and stuff && finally to kkh.
I still remember how she wanted to refer me to the psychiatrist and I refused.
Like hello? I am a bio student all the while and you think I don't know what's happening?
The doctor tried to scare me and warn me that if my weight falls below the 45kg mark, I might face some other problems and might not be able take A levels. Like uh... it continued to fall to 42kg and to 40kg the start of last year cos of my gastric problems.
Some teachers and counsellor talked to me in school out of nowhere back then.
I was scared and I begin to force myself to eat more but ending up worsening my gastric problem.
Gahhhh.
Ok. Of course I will never ever want to go back to be like that anymore.
I had enough of blood tests and whatever.
I just feel weird looking at the weighing machine with my weight starting with a BIG 5.
I don't know why am I gaining weight now when I am eating lesser than a few months back?
Can anyone tell me why?????
Hmms.
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