The hole

"As you wander through your life, friend,
whatever be your goal,
keep your eyes upon the donut
and not upon the hole."


Read that in a book. I guess I only notice the hole every time.



Falling sick just makes me super impatient and frustrated with a lot of things. Been trying to take a deep breath and cool down the entire day without yelling at anyone(even though I can't, I'll still yell with my hoarse voice). Oh well... I didn't yell in the end.

No one follow me to the clinic when I am feeling so NUA. I drag myself to the clinic and back with everyone still in their bed. I ask mum to help me get some stuff for the trip tmr when they go out to have breakfast but she asked me to get them myself instead. HOW TO? I am feeling so sick this morning and yet she asks me to get them myself:( I need to work tomorrow too luhs. She didn't pay anything for my trip. I am super broke after buying the camera and my tuition kid still haven't pay me. How sad. All she knows is to ask me not to go on Wed but fly together with Weiqi instead and how she don't trust that my friends will be waiting for me at BKK airport when I touch down, blahblahblah... "Told you not to go on Wed!"... She never answer all my questions as usual. Why did I even bother to ask her to help me do things when I do everything by myself all these while? Why must I make an exception when I am sick? Maybe showing her that I am independent enough is a bad thing(different thing from flying alone). She's totally different when my siblings fell sick. Why should I be bothered about it?

Got almost everything ready by now. Went out this afternoon to get my facial foam and everything within 100ml each. Have to get a few more items tomorrow by myself after work.

Been checking my phone the entire day, waiting for ting to pass me her backpack. Kept waking up from my lil nap to check, check while I am out,... Ah. But by the time she reached home it's already 9+pm. I was already too tired by then. Can't help feeling a lil disappointed but ting is busy. Can't blame her. I should have gotten a new backpack. I hate to do things at the very last minute. But I have checked through everything, printed the itinerary for both the flights to and from Thai, packed my clothes and put them in ziploc, the liquid stuff in ziploc not exceeding 1 litre,...

Don't like feeling so sick. Was already sick on Thurs. By Sat I am totally sick but still insisted on going out with love. Junyi thought I fell sick while shooting my lalang. Haha. She's so cute.

Went to collect laopobing from Huihui at Tiong Bahru MRT station in the afternoon. It happened to be from the shop I love!:D:D Chat for a lil while at the control station. She offered to send me off and fetch me! Guess my sis won't be that nice so... Breakfast before heading to the airport? So thankful for her concern and all. My kind of mood now... Could really use some care and concern to make myself better. Will really appreciate it if she's there to send me off! Guess I still need someone to talk to before sitting on the plane for 4 hours without anyone to talk to.

Haven't had gastric pain for such a long time. Must really have the medicine after meals. I want to cry now. Then sleep. Long day tomorrow. Need to stock up on some food for the trip too. Should I get my own backpack after work tomorrow? Should I just check in? Haish. Needa wake up earlier tomorrow since I have to report to work earlier. working till late too. I enjoy enrichment. Hope tomorrow can cheer me up.