Hey baby

Mousey no longer speaks, it no longer smiles and it smelled of tears.



I thought I'll be okay. Putting my mind off things for more than a day and felt really peaceful for a while till I started studying. My BB won't flash pink light anymore when I am studying(pink LED light was set for all the calls and smses by love). I can't focus. I am so used to studying with him around. I ended up crying more than I study and fell asleep crying after that. I couldn't sleep well too. I am so afraid to lose any opportunity to speak to him. This has became an obsession. I wake up to the slightest sound but this is probably a good thing cos I managed to catch him on iMessage for a while at 2.45am but I fell asleep after a while:( My alarm rang at 6am to check if he message me again. But nothing. There's nothing this morning. I figured that maybe he couldn't access his another friend's friend's hostel's wifi? I don't know. Just cried cos I couldn't speak to him this morning and began to read tax again. Guess not sleeping well ever since he left made me super touchy and cried over the tiniest thing. Probably one day my tear glands will run out of tears and I won't cry anymore. Hmms. This got me thinking a lot. Is being away from the boyfriend and not being able to talk to each other that often more painful or does breakups hurt more? I think being away from this kinda things for so long makes me weak.

I officially have black hair now. I figured that I need some changes in my life to allow myself to move on. Guess the first step will be to see myself differently in the mirror. I couldn't put ribbons on my head without looking weird now. My ribbon hair ties and hair clips only looks good on golden brown hair and according to the hairdresser, I wouldn't be able to have that kinda hair colour till 3-4 years later?? I hate how the hairdresser still layered my hair and make it so thin(while still complaining that my hair is super thick after cutting) when I ask them NOT TO LAYER MY HAIR. Now it's so thin and awfully layered but simply black. I doubt it'll stay black for long cos the colour will run. Maybe I'll get frustrated with my hair when the colour runs and I'll redye again. I don't know. Just hope my hair grow faster and back to the original thickness.

These few days mean a lot to me and I really hope he's here for me. But sadly no. 30th Dec marks the day we met, 31st Dec marks the day we know each other and I really hope to start the year with him. I'll only spend these few days with tears and hopefully I can be void of emotions for the year 2012. Can I have that for my new year wish? I don't know if I'll still do a blog post to conclude 2011 nor am I sure if I should still have new year resolutions. 2012 looks bleak but hopefully not so for my results. I am glad that I am starting my revision now. It's better to study and cry missing him now than 2 weeks later. Hmmm. I won't be celebrating Valentine's day, I won't be celebrating my birthday(at least not the actual day), I won't celebrate our 1 year anniversary without you around. I won't.



Just hope that I can at least see ur face these few dates no matter if it's London/Singapore time.


Hey boy. Still remember this?