I started the day really badly. I thought waking up early to talk to love would be a good think since we hardly have a chance to talk and it's even worst now he is traveling and I am so lousy cos I totally have no idea about all the places that he is visiting now. But his connection is so bad and the FaceTime kept hanging up:(
Just when I am about to leave the house to school for my second marketing quiz, Tax prof sent us our results. I knew I'll do badly for it but it really hit me hard. I just felt like crying looking at it. I spent the whole week cooping myself at home and mugging hard for it but I was so stressed that I blanked out during the paper. This semester means so much for me. So much are at stake and I really hate to lose. I felt like hiding again. Everything just keep signalling me to go back to my old self. To go into hiding, to stay away from all my friends, to stay away from everyone I know and just study hard myself. No one can help me except for myself. No one can change the situation except for me. My hair is dropping at an alarming rate. All the signs of stress just kept on coming even though I tried my best to sleep a lil more. A lot of tell-tale signs enticing me to go back into hiding. Could that be a better solution? I don't know. I don't know why all of a sudden everything just came back to me. I just want to sit down and cry and cry and cry. Then consider what should I really do. Maybe I just couldn't do it like this. No one is going to help me. In fact no one can help me so why am I always so angry when people tell me that they believe that I can do it? I hate people telling me that. I hate it so much.
The one who listens is the one who neither speaks nor judge...
I wanted to do an ultra long post tonight but just felt like ranting now. The only consolation for me so far is my FIIM mid terms. God please guide me through this term...
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