Missing you like never before

The boyfriend left last night.

The past few days was really hard. I was already on the verge of crying during many times of the day on the 25th but managed to suppressed my sadness. On the 26th, my tear glands just couldn't hold it anymore and kept tearing the entire day. I think I can never forget how we hugged and cry together before we prepare to set off to the airport. I look really awful then. Probably still do look awful with puffy eyes now. My eyes felt really dry by the time the boy check in but while waiting for his pals, I couldn't help but cry again. I haven't been this sad for a long time. The last hug was painful. Everything felt so quiet again. I couldn't really remember the boy's expression after he went in. My vision was probably too blur by then. All I remember was Aunty Mollie putting her hands around me and pulling me away. I couldn't sleep last night without hearing his voice and feeling his warmth. He is a live heater. Cried to wee hours and probably fell asleep crying. Found myself waking up to tears a few hours later. Hmms. It's so painful.

Never expect myself to feel so sad... To cry so much. I have unknowingly grew too attached to the boyfriend. We spent too much time together this holidays. It feels weird to not see him even for less than 24 hours. How am I going to cope with the next 5 months? Constantly checking his whereabouts through social media or trying to cyber stalk him like a paparazzi? Sighs. But I managed to calm myself by trying to prioritise now. Seeing the face of the boyfriend on FaceTime when he was at Doha just makes my day though I can't help but cry when he hangs up. That precious few minutes. Focus focus.

• Finally booked my BTT after waiting for 1 and a half hours in the queue and sadly the earliest slot that I can make it was 27 Feb cos I have mostly morning or early afternoon lessons.
• Bought all the required textbooks for the coming semester. Will start mugging on Thursday morning and evening.
• Lunch with besties on Thurs! Chmel haven't confirm with me about dinner on Thurs.
• Met some bonduemates for Thai food at Sunshine Plaza but didn't join them to drink in the end.
• First tuition lesson in a long time with my new student on Sat 31st Dec morning
• Meeting Alvin's parents and have dinner at Aunty Hazel's house on 31st Dec and spend time with them on the 1st too. I guess that'll be my quiet new year's day.

Will update more on Christmas soon. Not exactly in the mood right now. Trying not to think of the boyfriend and I probably gonna read my Steve Jobs biography to sleep. No plans for tomorrow as of now.