Arguments

I don't remember we argued at all when the relationship just started out. We don't quarrel at all until the boyfriend went on exchange. I am not the kind that can sleep the matter off and be okay the next day. If an issue is not solved, I'll be bothered by it forever and cry for months. But the boyfriend, on the other hand, thinks that we should just sort it out ourselves emotionally and be okay the next day. That makes me so miserable. This is a huge taboo in a healthy relationship. We'll definitely quarrel about the same thing again. We will definitely dig out this piece of 'evidence' and argue about it again.  I am the kind that need to talk to people when I am sad. I am the kind that needs someone to comfort me and feel my pain. But the boyfriend hates it when I tweet/blog/tell my friends about it cos he said that puts him in a bad light. I reduced to almost zero of all those things that he don't like unless I am really very upset. I guess my tolerance level had been very high until last Friday. I'll say I am a very accommodating person. I care a lot about how people perceive me and hence, I rather let others make the decision first and I'll just adjust accordingly. If you let me decide on certain issues, then deal with it. But apparently, appearing nonchalant is selfish. Now problems are kinda solved. We are okay now. It just got me thinking how it will be like when I go on exchange...

The boyfriend will be working while I am on exchange. I guess the experience will be entirely different compared to the time he went on a exchange. This time round, we won't get to talk much. We probably won't have enough time to argue unless it's through Whatsapp or email or whatever. I'll probably stalk his Facebook and feel bitter about it when he takes photos with other girls. As usual, it's just an intensive brain activity and I'll not put that in words when that happens. But since it's finally my turn to live overseas myself, I bet I'll be busy with a lot more things than I was the one back home. I won't be too bored and too bothered with late replies/ no Facetime or whatever for a long time. I hope? I tried not to fuss over all his decisions on exchange then. I didn't really require him to Facetime everyday, just as much as possible. I didn't stop him from living with four other girls. I didn't stop him from going to clubs. I didn't stop him from travelling alone. I don't restrict what he does cos that's his personality. He has his own dreams and firm hold on his stand. But all those doesn't mean that I can be very passionate about all his experiences. I'll be there to listen. I'll pay attention. But I won't know what to ask or response. Nothing much like any other people out there. I don't think this is being selfish. Still.

I am not restricted to do anything in other areas. I think I just need to focus more on being myself. I love blogging. I miss blogging. I will continue blogging.