Arguments

I don't remember we argued at all when the relationship just started out. We don't quarrel at all until the boyfriend went on exchange. I am not the kind that can sleep the matter off and be okay the next day. If an issue is not solved, I'll be bothered by it forever and cry for months. But the boyfriend, on the other hand, thinks that we should just sort it out ourselves emotionally and be okay the next day. That makes me so miserable. This is a huge taboo in a healthy relationship. We'll definitely quarrel about the same thing again. We will definitely dig out this piece of 'evidence' and argue about it again.  I am the kind that need to talk to people when I am sad. I am the kind that needs someone to comfort me and feel my pain. But the boyfriend hates it when I tweet/blog/tell my friends about it cos he said that puts him in a bad light. I reduced to almost zero of all those things that he don't like unless I am really very upset. I guess my tolerance level had been very high until last Friday. I'll say I am a very accommodating person. I care a lot about how people perceive me and hence, I rather let others make the decision first and I'll just adjust accordingly. If you let me decide on certain issues, then deal with it. But apparently, appearing nonchalant is selfish. Now problems are kinda solved. We are okay now. It just got me thinking how it will be like when I go on exchange...

The boyfriend will be working while I am on exchange. I guess the experience will be entirely different compared to the time he went on a exchange. This time round, we won't get to talk much. We probably won't have enough time to argue unless it's through Whatsapp or email or whatever. I'll probably stalk his Facebook and feel bitter about it when he takes photos with other girls. As usual, it's just an intensive brain activity and I'll not put that in words when that happens. But since it's finally my turn to live overseas myself, I bet I'll be busy with a lot more things than I was the one back home. I won't be too bored and too bothered with late replies/ no Facetime or whatever for a long time. I hope? I tried not to fuss over all his decisions on exchange then. I didn't really require him to Facetime everyday, just as much as possible. I didn't stop him from living with four other girls. I didn't stop him from going to clubs. I didn't stop him from travelling alone. I don't restrict what he does cos that's his personality. He has his own dreams and firm hold on his stand. But all those doesn't mean that I can be very passionate about all his experiences. I'll be there to listen. I'll pay attention. But I won't know what to ask or response. Nothing much like any other people out there. I don't think this is being selfish. Still.

I am not restricted to do anything in other areas. I think I just need to focus more on being myself. I love blogging. I miss blogging. I will continue blogging.

Growing up

That's what I always see on my Blogger reading list. Magenta's wedding preparation and A&W's progression to a marriage life. Then I'll start to think... where's mine? I think I am the most skeptical girlfriend and unsatisfied girlfriend ever. I'll think that nothing's certain. We might not end up together in future so please don't plant happy images in my brain. Or from how our career paths are going to be like in future, $2,700 starting pay, when will we ever save enough for a house and a wedding? I never thought that money was a MAJOR problem until I was talking on the train with a junior the other day. He was telling us how he will be applying for an exchange to Taiwan instead of US or Europe cos that will put him in further debt. From how he work out his future finances, he definitely will not have sufficient money to get married before 30. He said that girls our age are immature, just living the life and don't plan far and blahblahblah... Of course I argued back like how I always did when guys their age tell us that (he is one academic year younger than me but one year older than me in terms of age). Things will work out when we grow older. Take up housing loans and whatsoever. I see a lot of sec schoolmates getting married these few years when they are just one year older than me. Where did they get all the money when their family is not well off? As long as we have a stable job when we graduate, everything will work out. Hmm... I was still firm on my stand until lately...

I have never ever give serious thought about what will happen when the boyfriend's and my career paths crossed in the future cos he never wanted to do what I wanted to do. But recently, he made up his mind. We had a heated discussion over that. But seriously, if I were him, I'll take up that offer. When we started work, we need to pay off our study loans fast, give parents allowance, save up for wedding and all. I'll think we need more money when we just started work. Well oh well. I am not him. He is not me. So I won't interfere much in his choices. In terms of prestige and pay, I'll definitely pick the better one. I'll want to marry early, then enjoy a few years of couple life together before having kids. & now it seems like we need to earn a whoooooole lot of money before we can have kids and give them the best. All these thoughts finally make me understood how couples may have combine income of $12k but still think that it's insufficient to have kids. #singaporeanwoes

Back to reality!

I just wish we acted more like couples our age now and go on happy dates together, do nonsense things together, surprise me by picking me up and stuff. Life's too stable. && guys as usual, enjoy that kind of stability. But I am still 21, I need some fun in my life badly. I really can't wait to apply for exchange now. I really envy couples who can go on exchange together. Boyfriend kept saying how he will visit me when it's my turn. But after looking at the nature of his job. I doubt he can do so. Haha. I am not having any hopes on that cos it'll be disappointing. That's me. I'll always prepare myself for the worst.

Audit woes

This is what happens whenever I open my audit textbook:(

Audit readings are so horrible. I take up to 6 hours per chapter. && Whenever I do audit readings, I'll sleep really early like 9+pm on Sat and 11pm last night-.- Even after I took so long to read everything, I can't recite the entire chapter for you. Sighs. Why is studying audit so different from doing a real audit report?:(

I must love audit readings!

Anyway, I was so tempted to get HVV's military blazer and a few dresses but decided not to. Haha. Partly because I sold my unworn(and couldn't fit cos they are the wrong size?) Lovebonito stuff on eBay? I really hope to get rid of the main bulk of it before I shop (and I still have a few new dresses that I haven't worn). And I should only get the stuff I really love. If I hesitate, it means that I don't really like that item. Haha.

If you know anyone who wants some Lovebonito items which I couldn't fit and which I listed here:

http://myworld.ebay.com.sg/mw_aw24

Please ask them to go to my page. Thanks!:DD

A series of unfortunate events

Never will I dream of beginning my exams with these:

1. Train broke down at Lakeside. I was there at 7.30-7.40am. My paper starts at 8.30am.
2. My Fujitsu hung while I was rushing for time for my 30 mins essay. All the Macbook users around typed a chunk while I was still calculating how many characters to backspace. #diebitchdie

Too much emotions in a day. I need a little break now before starting on my marketing revision for the day. The only things I am grateful for today is that boyfriend's mum text me while she was stucked at Chinese Gardens for 7 mins. I just reached Lakeside then and she left the house much earlier than me. Next, I was quick to act and made a quick decision to get down the train and call a cab straightaway instead of betting that the system will recover anytime soon. The taxi uncle was very understanding of my plight and rushed me to school in time. That was before others came rushing out of the train and mad calling the cab. I was lucky then. Giscelle just tweeted me to say that she was stuck so badly at Jurong East that she only reached school at 9.02am. I'll totally freaked out if I was her. I can't sit for exams in that kind of condition really. There was accident at PIE and everywhere else. Luckily the taxi uncle didn't take any of those routes. As for my Fujitsu, I am really speechless. I should have known better than trusting it will bring me through my mpw exams. I really hate it to the core now. But I'll endure till Aug and get a new Macbook. Can't wait.

Hmm. I have never appeared weak in front of my mum or the entire family I'll say but I tried to tell my mum my problems to get her involved in my life and that pretty much overwhelm her I guess. I never did that till I got into university. I thought it'll be better this way and I feel okay with it now. To her it's probably good. Anyway, I need to negotiate like an adult again. I'll definitely get it troubles&worries free. It marks the end... isn't it? Maybe I'll realise that there are other things in life that matters more than studies matter now...

Today's a terrible day. On a side note. Today marks exactly one month till the boy comes back.

The time on the countdown timer + 1 cos the boy told me that he'll be back on the 16th initially. He is wearing the cardigan I bought for him^^V Like finally but apparently he lost so much weight that it looks big on him.






I like floral and lacey dresses and blouses. It's spring to summer collections everywhere. It's so hard to resist!:/ Not forgetting bustier/sweetheart neckline.